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Chinese New Year: The year of… “I’m a SNAKE”

This year, the ‘Snake’ takes over the ‘Dragon’. In China people born in the year of the snake are deemed intuitive, introspective and graceful.

They are exciting, dark and are frequently contemplative and private. The snake is not outwardly emotional, but will often plot and scheme to achieve their desires. Sounds like a North Korean leader building a nuke for the West to me.

Kim Jong Chat

Barack Obama addressed the public on the 10th February and mentioned the Year of the Snake. He added:

“Here in America and around the world, people of Asian and Pacific Islander descent will welcome the Year of the Snake. In Chinese tradition, the snake represents wisdom, and a thoughtful approach to tackling the challenges before us – principles that I hope will continue to guide us as we perfect our union and create a more just and equal future for every American.”

I believe Barack will need all snake characteristics possible, to start clawing back America’s national debt!

Obama: Snakes

I personally can’t work snakes out, I nearly puked when I watched those Pythons being born on David Attenborough’s Africa programme. What’s the point in snakes? What is their purpose? Obviously they fulfill some part of the food chain, but what do they actually do? At what point in the evolutionary chain did they lose their legs and begin to slither in the most sinister way possible?…

So that’s it – the year of the snake, the year Chinese people have full license to walk around and do exactly what this guy does…

This guy is an internet hit, when I was last at Gatwick airport departures I saw 16 girls destined to ‘Shagaluf’, with ‘I’m a snake‘ on the back of their tour T-shirts.

Why not take the Year of the Snake further by injecting and mainlining poisonous snake venom like this lad on VICE?

This guy does it for kicks and he has been doing it for over 20 years! He believes he becomes stronger, faster, and more resilient after injecting – he looks like a totally normal guy to me. Watch the full video here:

I’m a snake….

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